How do I deal with a toxic coworker?
There's a woman at my office who constantly undermines me in meetings, takes credit for my work, and talks behind my back. I've tried being nice to her but it just makes it worse. My boss doesn't seem to notice. I'm thinking about quitting but I need this job.
1 Answer(s)
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Toxic coworkers are one of the most draining things in professional life. Here's what actually works. First, document everything. Write down dates, times, what was said, and who witnessed it. Save emails and messages. This isn't paranoia — it's protection. If things escalate, you'll have proof.
Second, stop being nice to her. I know that sounds harsh, but nice doesn't work with toxic people. Be professional, be brief, and be firm. When she takes credit for your work in a meeting, calmly say "Actually, I led that project — here's what I did..." Don't be aggressive, just factual.
Third, talk to your boss — but do it strategically. Don't complain about her personality. Frame it as a productivity issue: "I've noticed some miscommunication about project ownership that's affecting our team's efficiency."
Don't quit yet. Start looking for other jobs quietly while you handle this. Having options gives you power. You don't have to tolerate this forever.